When Nobody Was Watching

Carli Lloyd

📚 GENRE: Biographies & Memoirs

📃 PAGES: 256

✅ COMPLETED: February 3, 2022

🧐 RATING: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

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Short Summary

In When Nobody Was Watching, former United States soccer star Carli Lloyd reveals the relentless mindset, work ethic, and drive that propelled her from a largely unknown soccer talent growing up in New Jersey to the top scoring female in USWNT history. Lloyd shares unique insight into the USWNT program and how she fought to the top using sheer will and discipline. 

Key Takeaways

1️⃣ Focus on Improvement — You should be looking to improve yourself every day. Working on your weaknesses is where you get the biggest payoff. 

2️⃣ Empty the Tank — Carli became the top goal scorer in USWNT history because she outworked everyone. She wasn’t the most talented; her work ethic is why she became as good as she was. Your level of effort is always in your control, regardless of what’s happening around you.

3️⃣ Handle Adversity — You can’t be afraid to fail. When you make a mistake, you have to have a ‘next play’ mentality. Carli was cut from several teams on her soccer journey. Dwelling on failures will never help. Eyes forward.

Favorite Quote

"All I want to do is work hard and get better and do everything I can to help my team win. That’s the sum total of my agenda."

Book Notes 📑

Prologue

  • Quote (P. 2): “Another thing I have no interest in is drama. To me, it is a massive waste of time and energy, siphoning off your fuel and your focus.”
  • Quote (P. 3): “Steer clear of anything that isn’t helping you get where you want to go.”
    • Focus on your goals. Focus on your vision for yourself. Pour your focus and attention into the things that are going to get you there.
    • If you’re doing something or spending time on something that isn’t bringing you closer to your goals and vision for yourself, you’re wasting time.
      • If something isn’t helping you, it’s hurting you. The bigger the goals you have, the less time you can afford to do things that are impeding your progress.
      • Eliminate the distractions.
  • Quote (P. 3): “All I want to do is work hard and get better and do everything I can to help my team win. That’s the sum total of my agenda.”
  • Carli was the FIFA World Player of the Year in 2015.
  • Quote (P. 5): “Strength is measured by how far you are willing to push your weaknesses.”
    • You get the greatest personal development gains when you work on the things you are the weakest at.
    • Work on your weaknesses!
    • Ex. Pubic Speaking
  • As a junior playing at Rutgers University, Carli was cut from U.S. U-21 team and almost quit soccer altogether.
  • Quote (P. 7): “I have an almost unshakable faith in my ability to come through when it matters most and to prevail no matter what the odds. But that faith exists side by side with a stubborn, lifelong penchant for demanding perfection of myself and for beating up on myself when I fall short of it. The result is that it is dangerously easy for me to hold onto mistakes, keeping them alive in an endless loop of self-criticism.”
    • I’m similar. The key is to focus on the next play. Have a short memory. Live in the moment.
  • Quote (P. 9): “I get off the phone and think about how I’ve gotten through every other disappointment and challenge in my career: By going back to work. By working when nobody is watching, and then working some more.”
    • Work hard and stay focused. Maximize your time.

Ch. 1: Beginnings

  • Carli was born and raised in Delran, New Jersey.
    • Her first soccer team was the Delran Dynamite.
  • Quote (P. 16): “Competition, and wanting to get better, is what drives me.”
    • Always look to get better, every single day.
  • Quote (P. 17): “There is no substitute for hard work. It’s the people who work the hardest and are committed to do the most with the talents they are given who are going to get places.”
  • Quote (P. 17): “It’s great to have high standards because I don’t think you ever get anywhere in life trying to be average or just good. On the other side, you can torment yourself along the way if you have impossibly high expectations. You can make the journey hard and joyless if you never allow yourself a few moments of contentment because you are pushing so hard to do even better.”
    • Have big goals and push yourself to be better, but you also need to take time to celebrate your progress.

Ch. 2: Strikers Forever

  • At age 12, Carli tried out for the South Jersey Select team — a premier U-13 travel soccer club in New Jersey — and didn’t make the cut.
  • After being cut by the Select team, Carli gets a letter from a man starting a U-13 travel team called the Medford Strikers. He wants her to join. She decides to join.
    • She played on the team for 6 years, helping the club become one of the best soccer teams in New Jersey.
      • The Strikers won two consecutive New Jersey State Cup titles during those 6 years.
  • At age 14 in 1996, Carli made the New Jersey Olympic Development Program team.
    • She was cut at Region I camp, however.
    • Quote (P. 29): “I do not make the final posted list. It’s a major blow, but it teaches me an invaluable lesson about confidence. I learn that if you don’t approach the game with the right mentality, you have no shot to deliver your best.”
      • You have to be confident. You have to believe in yourself, your abilities, and the work you’ve put in. Trust it.
      • If you don’t approach things with confidence in yourself, you will find a way to lose.
  • Focus on you. Focus on improving yourself and your skills. Compete with yourself.
    • Comparing yourself to others is never the right approach — focus on getting better and improving each day.
    • Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in what other people are doing. Don’t allow outside drama make you lose focus. Keep your focus on you.
  • Focus on two things:
    1. Getting Better Daily
    2. Winning

Ch. 3: Smackdown

  • The Medford Strikers continue to play well as Carli finishes out high school.
  • Carli won two state titles with Delran High School and was named the Burlington County Player of the Year in her junior and senior seasons.
  • Carli chose to play at Rutgers University over the University of West Virginia.
    • Freshman — 15 goals, 7 assists. Named an All-American and Big East Rookie of the Year.
    • Sophomore — Named an All-American.
    • Junior — Named an All-American.
  • Carli is invited to U-21 U.S. Women’s National Team camp after her solid freshman year at Rutgers.
    • First Year — Helps the team win a Nordic Cup over Germany in Europe.
    • Second Year — Cut before the Nordic Cup. Ends up replacing an injured player and helps the team win the Nordic Cup in Brazil.
    • Third Year — Wins Nordic Cup in Iceland. She was a big contributor.
    • Fourth Year — Wins Nordic Cup. Big contributor again.
  • Quote (P. 33): “Everybody on a national team is a good athlete and most of them are skillful. What determines whether you are going to make it is the mental side.”
    • You have to have confidence and self-belief.
    • You can’t be intimidated by the moment or other people.
    • No fear.
  • After her junior year at Rutgers, Carli begins working with James Galanis, an Australian trainer at the Universal Soccer Academy.
  • Rather than blaming people and making excuses, focus on what you can do to make the situation work.
    • Put a solution on the board rather than whine.
  • You have to be willing to outwork everyone and do the things others aren’t willing to do.
    • Ex. Training on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
    • Ex. Kobe Bryant — Practicing at 3 a.m. and after games.
    • Ex. Lifting at 5 a.m., studying Spanish, reading books during lunch break, going to Toastmasters, etc.

Ch. 4: National Attention

  • Quote (P. 53): “It is so easy for me to lose faith and doubt myself and let little things distract me. Being aware of such tendencies is the first defense to reigning them in. James (Galanis) helps me see that I don’t have to listen to those self-critical and negative tapes that might be playing in my head. I have a choice. I don’t have to go there. It’s hard to break an ingrained habit, but being able to see it and step outside yourself and catch it is the way to start.”
    • When self-doubt and self-criticism creep in, know that you don’t have to pay attention to those thoughts. Just because they are there doesn’t make them true.
      • This is critical to understand.
    • Meditation is helpful here. Bring your awareness back to the present moment. Get out of your head.
  • Quote (P. 53): “If you make a mistake, forget it and move on to the next play. Be the hardest working player out there, always.”
    • Next play mentality! Coach K at Duke talks about this as well.
    • It’s so easy to dwell on a mistake or something small and let it run through your mind a million times. You have to focus on moving forward. Forget it and focus on the next play, the next thing, the next moment. Don’t dwell.
  • In her senior year at Rutgers (2004), Carli was invited to the full USWNT camp with the real team.
    • She doesn’t make the 2004 Olympic Team, but she didn’t expect to.

Ch. 5: One Cap at a Time

  • 2005 — Carli officially makes the U.S. Women’s National Team.
  • Quote (P. 62): “You can’t control a coach’s preferences, but what you can do is make up your mind to outwork everybody.”
    • You can’t always control everything, but you can ALWAYS control your effort.
      • Work really hard. Empty the tank.

Ch. 6: Coach's Crosshairs

  • Quote (P. 68): “Don’t worry about what you can’t control, mate. Just keep emptying the tank and getting better. Everything else will take care of itself.”
    • James Galanis said this to Carli when she was worrying and stressing about why USWNT head coach Greg Ryan was always on her case and not giving her much playing time.
  • Success takes a lot of sacrifice, whether in sports, business, or anything else. There are some things you have to be willing to part ways with to be very successful. Sometimes this means sacrificing social events.
    • It comes down to what you prioritize and value in your life. Some people value success over everything else. Others prioritize family and social life.
    • Quote (P. 70): “It’s not about being antisocial or rude. It’s about putting in the effort on the field and getting to where I want to go. If that means missing out on parties or social events, hey, I’m going to do whatever it takes.”
    • As Michael Jordan said in the Last Dance documentary, “Winning has a price, and leadership has a price.”
  • Around 2005, Carli and her family begin to feud.
    • The event that started the drama was an argument over who Carli should choose as her attorney.
  • Quote (P. 73): “Greg is still on me a lot about my defense, but every day I show up and work, and I believe I am gradually wining him over.”
    • Regardless of what’s going on, always show up and work hard. Give it your best effort.
  • October 1, 2006 — Carli scores her first goal of her USWNT career against Chinese Tapai.
  • December 2006 — The USWNT secures a 2007 World Cup spot by winning the CONCACAF Gold Cup qualifying tournament.

Ch. 7: World of Trouble

  • Carli reveals a lot of drama and politics surrounding the USWNT in this book.
    • Often, players who are hand-picked by USWNT scouts in the early years of their development get an easy path to the full national team. Some of it is because the scouts will look bad if those players don’t make the full national team.
      • This makes it difficult for an outsider, like Carli, to make the team and receive fair treatment and feedback.
  • Quote (P. 82): “I have no hidden agendas. I want to play my best, and I want to win. It’s that simple.”
    • Keep it simple — improve every day and win.
  • Quote (P. 84): “You must be able to see it happening in your mind before you can see it happen on the field. With a strong mind, you can become whatever you want to become.”
    • This is something James Galanis told Carli often. Visualization is something they both practiced frequently.
    • The mind is like a brush-cutter in the woods. It clears away the debris so you have a path to follow. The mind sets the path and your training enables you to follow it.
    • Visualize what you want. See it happening in your mind. Then execute it.
  • Early 2007 — USWNT wins the Algarve Cup. Carli is named Tournament MVP.
  • 2007 World Cup — USWNT loses 4-0 to Brazil in the semifinal. This was the worst loss in USWNT World Cup history.
    • This was the game where coach Greg Ryan decided to sit keeper Hope Solo in favor of Brianna Scurry, a veteran keeper on the team. After the loss, Hope ripped the coach in the media.
      • Hope had secured three straight shutouts earlier in the tournament.
    • USWNT beats Norway in the third-place game to win a bronze medal.
  • The Hope Solo tirade splits the team. Carli takes Hope’s side, but the rest of the team does not. They give Hope and Carli the cold shoulder.
    • Carli’s playing time is also negatively affected after she took Hope’s side.
  • Quote (P. 92): “I have my goals and my routine and a ton of extra work to do to get where I want to go. This is what drives me. Nothing is going to get in the way of that.”
    • Again, focus on your goals and your daily habits. Focus on getting better each day.
  • Head coach Greg Ryan is fired shortly after the 2007 World Cup.

Ch. 8: Olympian and Outcast

  • Pia Sundhage is hired as the new head coach of the USWNT in 2008.
    • One of her goals is to turn the USWNT into more of an attacking team. Greg Ryan’s style was more defensive.
  • Quote (P. 99): “I’m grateful that I’ve never had any issues with complacency. I can sometimes be my own worst enemy with my perfectionism, but the other side is that I’m never satisfied and never feel as though I’ve made it, so I keep working as though I’m trying to make the team.”
    • Always stay driven. Don’t get complacent, regardless of what you’ve achieved.
  • Quote (P. 103):“I don’t tell Pia this, but this penchant for self-criticism is still one of my biggest challenges as a player…. giving myself permission to screw up and not let it put me into a downward spiral.”
    • It’s OK to mess up! Give yourself permission to move on, and don’t hammer yourself for the mistake with a loop of self-criticism. Move on. Next play.

Ch. 9: Fine China

  • USWNT loses its opener in the 2008 Olympics in China to Norway, 2-0.
    • U.S. was playing without top scorer Abby Wambach, who broke her leg three weeks before the Olympics.
    • Quote (P. 108): “We can’t do anything about Norway. We’ve got a tough game against Japan in three days, and everything from here on out has to be positive.”
      • This was the message head coach Pia Sundhage gave to the team after the loss to Norway.
        • Again, you have to move on when you mess up. You can’t dwell on things. Next play.
  • USWNT rallies to win its next two games, and beats Canada in the quarterfinal.
    • They beat Japan in the semifinal.
  • 2008 Olympic Gold Medal Game — In a rematch of the 2007 World Cup Final, USWNT beats Brazil in overtime to win the gold medal at the 2008 Olympic Games.
    • Carli scores the go-ahead goal in OT.

Ch. 10: Letting Go of Gold

  • USWNT decides to not offer Carli a contract in 2009. She had to earn it in camp again.
    • For whatever reason, management thought she had deteriorated as a player.
    • Quote (P. 120): “As angry as I was, as much as I wanted to blame somebody or beat myself up, I knew there was no time for self-pity. It was time to go to work like I never had before.”
      • Don’t dwell on things. When things don’t go your way, don’t dwell on it — move on and get to work. Improve.
    • Carli dominates in camp and gets the contract.
  • Around Christmas of 2009, Carli was in a very serious car accident that landed her vehicle in a nearby lake.
    • She didn’t get hurt at all, but her car was totaled.

Ch. 11: Empty Cup

  • 2011 World Cup — Contested in Germany.
    • USWNT finishes second in its group and faces Brazil in the quarterfinal.
      • The game goes to OT and Abby Wambach ties the game on a miraculous last-minute header.
        • USWNT wins in PKs to advance.
    • USWNT beats France in the semifinal.
    • USWNT loses to Japan in the championship game.
      • U.S. led with five minutes left in OT, but Japan tied it and sent the game to PKs.
        • Japan wins the match in PKs. Carli was one of three U.S. players that missed.

Ch. 12: Wonder in Wembley

  • After over 40 straight starts, Carli is removed from the starting lineup briefly in early 2012 after a poor game against China.
    • She is benched in favor of midfielder Lauren Cheney.
    • Quote (P. 141): “First of all, Cheney and I are completely different players with different strengths. Second of all, I don’t like to worry about other people or compare myself to them. I worry about myself and what I can bring to the team.”
      • Carli said this to head coach Pia Sundhage after she was asked to compare herself to Cheney.
      • Never compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to the previous version of you. Always focus on improving each day. Keep your focus on yourself.
  • 2012 Olympic Games — Contested in London.
    • USWNT beats New Zealand in the quarterfinal.
    • USWNT beats Canada in the semifinal.
    • USWNT beats Japan in the 2012 Olympic Final in a rematch of the 2011 World Cup Final.
      • Carli scores once in the final.
      • It’s the second consecutive Olympic gold medal for USWNT (2008, 2012).

Ch. 13: Coaching Carousel

  • Pia Sundhage is fired soon after leading USWNT to the 2012 Olympics title.
    • Tom Sermanni is hired as head coach in 2013.
  • USWNT goes undefeated in 2013.
    • It was an off-year for the team. No World Cup or Olympics competition.
  • Carli’s relationship with her parents reaches an all-time low. She hasn’t seen her parents since 2013.

Ch. 14: Coaching Carousel II

  • Tom Sermanni is fired in early 2014 after USWNT loses two games in the Algarve Cup.
    • Jill Ellis takes over on an interim basis. She later wins the permanent job.

Ch. 15: Character Builders

  • Quote (P. 181): “You will always play better when you’ve already visualized the game in your head.”
  • USWNT successfully qualifies for the 2015 World Cup.

Ch. 16: Disappearing Act

  • 2015 World Cup — Contested in Canada.
    • USWNT makes it through the group stage.

Ch. 17: Addition By Subtraction

  • 2015 World Cup — Contested in Canada.
    • USWNT beats China in the quarterfinal, 1-0.
      • Carli scores the lone goal.
    • USWNT beats Germany — the top ranked team in the world — in the semifinal, 2-0.
      • Carli scores one of the two goals.
    • In the semifinal against Germany, Julie Johnston gave the Germans a PK after tackling one of their players in the penalty box. She was upset and let it linger. She dwelled on the mistake, and it began to effect her game.
      • Quote (P. 201): “Cut that shit out JJ. We have a game to win… Keep your head up.”
        • Carli said this to Julie after she noticed the mistake eating at Julie’s game.
        • Lesson: You have to have a ‘next play’ mentality in life. You can’t dwell on mistakes, rejections, failures, embarrassments, bad moments, or things you wish were different. You can’t let that stuff impact you negatively and steal your attitude, drive, and focus. You have to FOCUS on the next thing and move on. Focus your attention in the right place, which is forward.

Ch. 18: World-Beater

  • July 5, 2015 — World Cup Final
    • USWNT 🇺🇸 vs. Japan 🇯🇵 in Vancouver, Canada 🇨🇦
    • USWNT seeking first World Cup title since 1999.
    • Carli scores to make it 1-0 USA early.
    • Carli scores again a few minutes later to make it 2-0 USA.
    • Lauren Holiday scores in the 14th minute to make it 3-0 USA.
    • Carli scores a goal on a shot from midfield in the 16th minute to make it 4-0 USA.
      • Japan had allowed just two goals in the tournament leading into the final.
    • Japan scores to make it 4-1 at the half.
    • Japan scores again just after halftime to make it 4-2.
    • Tobin Heath adds a goal in the second half and the game ends in a 5-2 USA victory.
      • Carli wins the Golden Ball after being named Player of the Tournament.
  • Quote (P. 206): “I’ve done most of my visualization the night before, but I get some more done throughout the day, not focusing on results so much as the process of playing the game… tackling hard, sending passes near and far, being strong in the attacking third.”
    • This is key when you visualize and execute. Focus on the actual process of what you’re doing, rather than the results.
      • When you focus on results, you can get distracted from executing each little thing in the process.
      • It’s good to visualize both, but don’t forget about the process.
        • LeBron James has talked about this, and the 10-Minute Toughness book discussed this at length.

Ch. 19: World-Beater

  • Carli is awarded the 2015 FIFA Player of the Year at the annual Ballon d’Or (French for Gold Ball) in Switzerland.
    • Carli’s career was incredible for someone who was not a ‘soccer prodigy’ growing up. She had to fight for it and outwork everyone.
  • Quote (P. 218): “When you work toward a goal for this long, you can’t even fathom how it might feel once you achieve it. I still cannot fathom it now, and in some ways I’m not sure I even want to, because I do not want to stop here. I want to keep getting better and better. I don’t want to be satisfied, ever. That may sound grim, but it isn’t at all. It is joyful, because the pursuit of progress is joyful. So I keep pushing, keep working.”
    • Always keep pushing to be better.
    • Learn to enjoy the daily habits and the daily process that leads to improvement. Enjoy the monotony of it.
  • Quote (P. 218): “When you are on the field, you aren’t competing against anybody. You are competing against yourself. The competition is who you were yesterday and your goal is to be better than that today.”
    • Only compete with yourself! Get better daily.
  • Quote (P. 218): “The point is that if you are not driven to improve, the only possible options are staying the same or getting worse, neither of which is acceptable.”
    • Always push yourself to be better.
  • Quote (P. 219): “What very few understood was how hard we worked, all year round, at all hours of the night and day.”

Epilogue

  • Quote (P. 223): “For all of us, in every profession and walk of life, it’s easy to take on things that come naturally and present no challenge. Working on the things you aren’t so good at is infinitely harder. It takes courage to make an honest self-assessment and fix what needs fixing.”
    • Improving the things you are weakest at is how you make the biggest strides in your development.
      • Ex. Public Speaking
    • You have to be able to take an honest look at yourself and realize where you need the most improvement.
  • Quote (P. 224): “The fact is that I never feel more alive, more energized, than when I’m working towards a goal.”
  • Quote (P. 224): “All I want to do is be a better person and player today than I was yesterday.”
  • Quote (P. 224): “The people who succeed don’t heed the doubters and don’t give in to despair or negativity. They don’t talk about emptying the tank, they just do it.”